EIGHT GREAT ALAN PARTRIDGE MUSICAL MOMENTS

Alan Partridge, future host of ‘Monkey Tennis’

With ABBA back together writing infectious killer tunes and the city I live in total lockdown thanks an infectious killer virus, what better time to look back on the greatest musical moments involving the group’s biggest fan, Alan Partridge.

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ALL THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS’ ALBUMS, RANKED FROM GOOD TO GREAT

A friend recently asked me how I would rank the Manics’ albums, and aside from the clear #1, I honestly couldn’t give him an answer.

So, like I did with the ‘Every year in music ranked’ list, I decided to let others decide (then make my own list anyway!).

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EIGHT BILLY CORGAN RIFFS THAT WILL SMASH YOUR PUMPKIN

From left to right, based on the facial expressions expressed in this photo: Heroin, cocaine, weed, E

Of all the bands that emerged in the 1990s alternative goldrush, the Smashing Pumpkins left perhaps the biggest legacy – not just in quantity, but also their breadth of sound and style.

While the cliched image will always be of a tall, awkward bald man in a tight black skivvy screaming about typical ’90s shit, Billy Corgan’s talent extended far beyond that – the Pumpkins’ output including synthpop, psychedelia and industrial influences.

But this list’s not about those. It’s laser-focused on what Corgan did best – riffs.

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EIGHT ‘WTF’ THINGS ABOUT NETFLIX’s ‘THE I-LAND’

After nine long years without any big-budget island-based mystery box drama on TV, I was onto Netflix’s ‘The I-Land’ quicker than Hugo ‘Hurley’ Reyes on a bucket of chicken.

I should never have pushed the button.

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THE EIGHT BEST BEACH BOYS SONGS

Beach Boys!

Brian Wilson! Carl Wilson! Dennis Wilson! Al Jardine! Err, John Stamos?

And Mike Love too, I guess…

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EIGHT SONGS OF REAL-LIFE CRIMES

Real-life crime! In music form

Some people say you should write what you know. Those people generally aren’t writers, ’cause what most people know is not worth writing about.

Most criminals are probably too dumb to write a good song, but here are a few spectacular exceptions – and others who knew rather than write about whatever dull thing was happening in their ‘hood, decided to write about someone else’s gross misdeeds.

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EVERY YEAR IN MUSIC RANKED, FROM 1954 to 2019

Finally, an end to the debate.

I’ve calculated once-and-for-all which year truly was the greatest of all-time. Yes, it’s incredibly nerdy – but it had to be done.

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THE EIGHT BEST MUSE SONGS

For a band many dismissed as Radiohead copyists when they first arrived on the scene at the turn of the millennium, the trio formerly known as Gothic Plague have done alright for themselves.

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THE EIGHT STRANGEST BEATLES SONGS

The Beatles. Has there ever been a weirder band that got quite as big? Well no, ’cause no one’s ever been as big as the Fab four. But it’s amazing the world’s most popular group was able to record songs like the following eight – at the height of their fame nonetheless – without being locked away.

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